************DISCLAIMER TO THE READER************

These words are written with no distaste or disrespect. These words are written specifically for me. And if they're read by your mind, just remember, they weren't written with any particular audience in mind. The YOU is not you, the he is not him, and the she is not her. These words are simply my imagination at work. If you dislike, or disagree, it doesn't even matter to me. You are merely more than a distraction to me, if you have negativity for me. Say something, say nothing, it doesn't matter to me. You might be able to beat me up, but you'll never conquer my mind. My ideologies are present at times, but i push them on no one, at any time. The characters in my lines may be fictitious, or possibly may not be. Either way, I'll never succumb to your questions, so don't bother me. I won't explain anything I've ever said in words. You either get it or you don't. But don't ever ask me what anything means. I know what ALL of it means, and that's ALL that matters to me...

Read on if you want, let your mind mingle with mine. Or save yourself from these words, before they enter your mind. I cannot guarantee these words will stimulate your brain, but I can guarantee that these words are 100% mine. Never copied, borrowed, stolen, or plagiarized. This is stuff thats's extracted from different depths within me. Sometimes shallow, sometimes deep, sometimes without beginnings or endings, but all of it comes from me. Derived from love, from pain, from those that get inside of me. And what's left on this page, was once a thought, sight, or feeling. Channeled through my body, my nerves, to the tip of my hand, ending as ink on this page, leaving me with either a smile, or a straight face...

So go on, to the next page, or just go away...







Friday, December 7, 2012

My blog has switched to www.adameveryday.blogspot.com

it's a new blog, I am going to try to be more consistent with this one!

Cheers, Adam

Saturday, October 8, 2011

To My Biggest Fan and Supporter....

I have started a new blog, so that I can separate my finished work, from my day to day thoughts.  So now you'll have to keep an eye on both. They'll both serve different purposes from here on out.

www.mindmansion.blogspot.com

I love you, Mom.

Love, Adam.

An Inspirational Video 1 - The Law Of Attraction

Such A Great Video...Watch It All The Way Through. And Believe Every Word, But Most Importantly, Believe In YOURSELF...

Tuesday, September 6, 2011

Europe Vacation!

November is going to be incredible! Europe here I come! :) first stop: 1) Paris, France. 2) London England. 3) Brussels, Belgium. 4) Amsterdam, Netherlands. 5) Berlin, Germany. 6) Prague, Czech Republic. 7) Vienna, Austria. 8) Florence, Milan, and Rome, Italy. 9) Zurich, Switzerland.

Tuesday, August 23, 2011

Strangers, again

The BEST part of my night was spending the evening with my sister, and my two little nephews. The Second BEST part of my night was taking 16 minutes out of my night, to watch this full video, all the way through. It's soooo accurate, and so good. It starts out slow, but delivers an incredible message...

Things change, people change...but, if i've ever told you, I Love You, I meant it with all my heart when i said it. Love the people you love, and NEVER neglect them. There are two outcomes in any relationship... :) you break up, or you marry them...thats it. Love deeply, everyday. Cherish the moments you have, because when they're gone, they'll NEVER be given back...

True love does not "naturally" sustain itself. It is the result of hard work, every single day. But more importantly, its a result of desire, determination, and dedication...but if its not mutual, its NOTHING. And "nothing" needs to get left behind, when we move forward...


Wednesday, July 27, 2011

In A Relationship: Trek Roadbike.

Got a wild itch in me last night to grab my bike are ride to the top of Lucky Peak Dam, from Eagle at 10pm....so....i did it! :) I am officially addicted to my roadbike, and am on it every chance i get. i rode to the top of the dam, layed on the beach at 11:00pm, for 15 minutes, then rode home. what a peaceful night to reflect! more to come!

Thursday, July 21, 2011

The Dreamer In Me...

This is written to My Parents. My Sisters. The People I Love, and The People That Love Me. This is written to the Senate, the Legislature, the House of Representatives. This is written to Governors, Mayors, and Elected Officials of Every Level.  This is written to the Judicial branch as well. This is written to the President.  This is written to the Generals, and The Leaders of EVERY Nation.  This is written to the Dictators of Minds, Hearts, and Nations.  This is written to the Good, the Evil.  This is written to God.  This is written to all those that Love God.  This is written to all those that oppose God.  This is written to men, women, and children….of every nation.  This is written as my dream.  When I was a child, my mother told me dreams come true….THIS….is written to you…

Today's my birthday, and I'm gonna dream. I'm gonna dream for everyone else, and not for me. I'm gonna start with little dreams, and then expand them to cover the globe. I'm gonna dream from simple to complex, and from high to low. I'm gonna dream of the basics, and mix in more as I go…

So...Here I go...

To my parents...I wish you love and peace.  I respect no one on this earth, more than I respect you two...

To my dad, I dream of a country, where companies don't collapse, where pensions aren't just a probability, but rather a promise. I dream of a land, where years of service to his country, don't leave him empty handed.  I dream that every time your plane takes off, God will return you safely to your family.  I dream of raising kids with the same integrity you taught me.  I dream that one day, I will love a woman, the way that you love my mother.  I dream of my Nana, and the day we'll all see her again….

To my mom, I dream of love, I dream of health, and a world that's cancer free. I dream that the pain you've been dealt has been doubled by the joy you've seen.  I dream that the love from your hugs could spread over this whole globe, to every man, woman, and child of every color and creed.  I dream…that one day, a woman will love me…the way that you love my father. I dream of the day, you reunite with grandpa Lewis, and see that twinkle in his eye...

To my sisters...

I love you both. I dream of a park, where we can walk, and hold hands, and remember when we were kids. I dream of dreams, that's still live in the both of you, and me…

To my sister Jami, I dream of your passion for your career. I dream you will reach autistic kids far and near. I dream your work, and your ethics, will change the way we care for the children everywhere.  I dream that your office, will multiply in growth, every year. I dream you will chase your dreams, and take Scott with you everywhere…

To my sister Katie...you are my soft spot. I love you more than words could ever say. I love you while these tears mark my face. I admire your strength, and your fortitude, and I dream that you'll always chase your dreams.  I dream that your twin boys will grow, to see the value in me. I dream that you will instill dreams, in those precious boys every day, just like God has done in me.  And I dream, that you will always fight, to be the best mom that you can be.  I dream that you will chase your dreams, and take Kris with you everywhere…

I dream that sleepless strangers in Seattle sleep well tonight. I dream that doctors make breakthroughs in medical technology, and reverse the progression of poison and deterioration in the body.  I dream that the things that matter, consume the mind, and I dream…that all the rest, doesn’t matter to you or me.  I dream that you find true love, and face it happily…I dream…that I’ll accept that YOUR dreams, don’t always align with mine…

I dream...that I'll reconcile with the skeleton in me. I have a dream, that I'll reach out to everyone, that opposes me. I dream, that those that turned on me, will face me, and love me, as human beings. I dream, that these dreams, don't die as dreams, but rather actual moments and memories…

And here we sit, where my dreams stack up like Jets on the runway...you want to see them take off?....sit back, and fasten your seat belt...and close your eyes, for more oxygen...

I dream of dignity and courage, mixed with more union, and less treason.  I dream that bumblebees transfer love pollen from you to me, and stir emotions that otherwise sit dormant from the summer season to the winter freezing…

To The President, and the Leaders of the World…

I have a dream…

I have a dream…that our children not only dream, but set goals and achieve.  I have a dream, that our children will trade drugs and teen pregnancy for dreams.  I have a dream, that all love could be extreme, rather than simple and na├»ve.  I have a dream, that I could influence the hearts, of ALL human beings…

I have a dream…that we will reform education, everywhere.  I have a dream, that we will wage war on drugs and poverty, unemployment, and economic instability.  I dream of a country, where our production of exports establishes our county as permanent.  I have a dream…where corporate propaganda doesn’t hurt the American citizens, and jobs aren’t outsourced to other countries.  I have a dream, where we the people of this world, combine minds, and create solutions, so we don’t have to depend on crude oil and gasoline…

I dream of peace.  A land of happiness, where all humans alike hold hands.  Where we don’t use politics and words, to wage wars, over resources and land.  I dream of diplomacy, that mends minds, rather than bends ties.  I have a dream, where the color of the heart, matches the same color and content of the mind.  I dream of a day, where truth and integrity overcome deception, as the human way.  Where we go back to the history of this great nation, and embrace the principals we were founded on…

I have a dream, where the children of third world nations, eat as often as the industrial and wealthy nations.  I have a dream, where God’s hands unite the people of the world, in large and small nations.  I have a dream, where natural disasters take only our attention, and not our women and children…

I have a dream, where war is never the answer…I have a dream, where we wage war….ON WAR. 

I have a dream, where bombs and nuclear weapons are not built, but rather disarmed, broken, and dismantled.  I have a dream, where the color of skin, is something we don’t even see.  I have a dream, where instead of asking what race you are, we ask…why should it even matter to you or me.  I have a dream…where every man, woman, and child has the opportunity for education and a degree…

I have a dream…I have these dreams often, these dreams NEVER go away…

I have a dream, that the children of today, will not be the criminals of tomorrow, but rather the generation that leads us out of this divided depression.  I have a dream, that the parents of today, will build the leaders of tomorrow…

I have a dream…that Martin Luther King Jr’s dream…will be a FOREVER LEGACY.  I have a dream…that our generation, will add to his dream.  I have a dream…that the leader in ALL of us will lead the way.

These dreams are not for me, but are everything to me...I have a dream…that one day,  there will no longer be segregation, and separation, but rather love and  equal contribution.  I dream that corruption within government and nations will wash away, because of the hard work of humanitarians that won’t settle for disaster.  I dream that clean water, and medicine will save lives in every nation.  I dream, that the ability to read and write will not only be available to everyone, but taught TO everyone, by everyone.  I dream, that we will ALL recognize that we are ALL teachers to each other.  I dream that we will combine hands, combine hearts, and combine minds, remembering that we’re all cut from the same cloth…

I dream, all those that hate, will replace that feeling with love and grace.  I dream….that with enough prayer, enough practice, enough faith, and enough character, these dreams can become realities within the lives of you and me.  I dream that my voice will turn one head, and one head will tell one friend, and that reaction will travel to the news stations of every nation.  And I dream that when we hold hands, we can travel to the steps of the capitol, with a voice so loud, that we will no longer have to hold signs up or shout, because the infection of laughter and happiness will collect hearts from around the world… 

I dream that bombs and grenades will be traded for books and love letters.  I dream that the broken will become the healed, and the lovers will charge forward as the teachers.  I dream that a smile can heal broken lives, and broken minds.  I believe that the forests, and the animals of this earth, have a higher value than slaughter.  I dream that children, are the true teachers, when given the right guidance, and adults are the outlet, to water these seeds.  I believe that the roots of this Earth, carry the burden of our feet, and I dream everyday that we change that before it’s too late.  I dream that we replenish and seed this Earth, rather than just pluck and strip her.  I dream that innovation,  and creation, can change the direction, of any mistake, and that it’s NOT too late…

I dream, that we will give of our mind, our heart, and our time.  I dream that we will teach love, regardless of faith or denomination.  I dream…constantly.  I dream to escape reality. 

When I was a child…my mother told me dreams come true, and I believe that my mother told me the truth.  These are my dreams…and every single day….

I STILL dream….that they will come true….

Saturday, July 9, 2011

Brookings, SD

Incredible, I tell you. The TV units in the headrests of the DELTA 737 planes, allow you to put it on "GPS" mode and "track my flight"  you can see the exact course of your trip.  For example, I tried to take a right turn at Brookings, South Dakota, but I was forced to remain on the green line... Looked like a nice place!! Guess i'll never know... :)



Saturday, July 2, 2011

Times Square, New York City, New York, USA.

Having the time of my life in NYC!! God seems to give me vacations when I need them most.  Life is GREAT. I am Happy, Healthy, and Excited to see what's NEXT! :)

Tuesday, June 28, 2011

Coldplay - Fix You

This Song Is Inspiring. One Of My Favorites....Headed to New York City in the morning. If that isn't inspiring when you feel knocked down, i dont know what is...Here's to Adventure, Change, Acceptance, Courage, Smiles...and most importantly....FAITH in God.

Monday, May 16, 2011

I Am Adam Pifer.  I Approve This Message...And I Think YOU Should Too...



Friday, April 22, 2011

Great Night With My Family...My Parents, My 2 Sisters, Their Husbands, And My Twin Nephews.  Just What I Needed...

No Matter Where Life Takes You...NEVER Forget The Directions....Home.

Saturday, March 26, 2011

Saturday, January 1, 2011

OneRepublic - All This Time (Lyrics) (Waking Up Album)

I love this song. I love this Band. One Republic are incredible artists. Music with substance is like medicine to the mind, and pain killer to the heart. I'm excited about a new year. 2010 brought so many changes into my life. Brought some great things into my life, and took some great things from my life, as well as cleaned up some things i didnt need in my life. 2010 brought me closer to God.

2010 taught me about the true power of love. what joy it can bring into your life, and how it can hurt others if you dont handle it right. i made mistakes in 2010, but the lessons i learned from them will last a lifetime. i start this new year off with a smile on my face. its time i give back a little more to MYSELF, and stop constantly reaching out to the ones that dont return it. and i plan to do exactly that...i dont have a problem cutting unnecessary things from my life anymore! Godbless to all, and make 2011 a year of personal growth, and adventure! Love the people that love you, and LET GO of those that dont care!!!! life is wayyyyy too short, to get caught up on the wrong ones!


Friday, December 24, 2010

Iyaz "Solo" Official Lyrics Video

Defeat Is NEVER Permanent. There Are Many More Fights On The Horizon...Rebuild, Repair, Replenish, and Fight! Most importantly, place your faith in God, fully! Everything happens for a reason, I FULLY believe that, and YOU better believe it too! Losing someone hurts, but it also replaces that excitement in your body, knowing God had something else in mind for you! I cant wait to share my life with Her! :)

Thursday, December 2, 2010

A Little's Enough...

***I must remind the reader, ALL of my work is fiction.  I never write about real life.  Who could ever relate to that? We are puppets on strings, in someone else’s game.  None of this was ever real, until proven so.

***And on a side note, this particular one is super super long. So I recommend if you have trouble following through with things, then don’t even start. I mean….why bother?  Just walk away now…

December 1st.
The first full day without a text,
Since the day I met you,
After waking from last night,
The first night, without your blanket in my bed. 
Adjustment, is the key to life,
Getting caught up on what was, will crush tomorrow.

Peace of mind.
A moment that is…
Never granted to the weak.
Orders, disorders…
Dimes and dilemmas…
Peace is granted in the mind of the fighters.
This world caters to the strength of warriors…
And robs the weak of heart.
We are peasants of the night.

The true, travel on roads so barren,
Resources in this land robbed…
By those that take rather than give.
But the peace in our mind…
Is worth the swords of a thousand soldiers.

Love is a fable…used to alter the minds of our children.
Fairy tales, mixed with dreams of what…not is.
Railroad tracks that criss cross hearts…
And leave us with wounds and torn cartilage.
Falling flat on our face…makes us appreciate…
Not only the moments we truly stand on our feet,
But the moments we’re swept off our feet.

What is it with runners.
They have hearts that are untamable.
Hearts that run from love.
Hearts that run for fun.
Hearts that need no one.
But running doesn’t last forever…

Life has taught me one very valuable lesson.
To kneel on my knees for one God….
But never for the love of a woman.
Feelings wrapped in hearts of traps.
If you think you’re up, get ready…
Because you’ve fallen for someone.
Roses in your hand, truth in your heart…
Your life will be robbed…
If you take one more step.

Tricks, disguised as pretty words.
Hands that warm your hand…
But steal from your heart.
This is a black market of misfortune.
And hearts are sold at dusk.

Fear is the cripple.
And the mind lets it triple.
Until you destroy the good.
That stands next to you.

But solid people stand tall.
Posture that poses no problems.
To the knife’s that life throws.

She was a nice girl.
Someone you could talk to.
A smile that left warmth on your heart.
But inside her mind…
A battle was fought.
And if you reached for this girl.
She’d run from you.
So far. So fast. So swift.
That she stirred dust.
And when it settled…
Your own heart…
Was in your hand.

There was pain in her heart.
Problems in her mind.
She was seeking peace….
Just like you and me.
She fought a battle…
Seven days a week.
But she pushed the problem…
Under the rug.
But when you looked close enough.
You could see it in her eyes.
And when she knew you sensed this,
Is exactly when she’d let you go.

Broken, are these moments…
Where we sit still and bleed.
Where we let life beat us…
Rather than set us free.

You want a blog about you?
Step into my life….
Stir things up…
And walk away.
I’ll set fire on a page…
Describing the very way…
That you affected me.

I might look broken for a moment,
But you can’t break me permanently.
The trials of life, have already tested me.
Purity is a dream, desolate are my dreams.

I have met people…
That need no one.
Want no one.
And I pity that battle.
Because it is bleak, and fake…
And its inside these very people…
That the greatest fires burn.
Flames so warm, that minds melt.
And hearts are literally deceased.
Beating….just to keep a breath and a blink.

Social media…has stolen so many hearts
Robbed so many dreams…
All while simultaneously broadcasting it….
To hearts that are watching and weak.
Calloused fingertips from burnt cigarettes,
Life is an ongoing lesson, that tests you and me.
We pass with similar grades from universities,
Or we falter, lose our step, and stumble innocently.

It is not failure that fuels me…
But rather the endless possibilities…
Of rightful love opportunities.
I am not here to play the game…
You take me, you break me…
And you lose me.
It’s simple math…
And it’s that very simplicity…
That creates the strength in me.
You don’t let go of something….
You won’t allow yourself to live without.
And that very notion reassures me…
To always stand up for me.

There are moments…
That feel like magic.
But you must ask yourself…
Who is being the wand.

Some say…
The “real deal” doesn’t have to bend…
I say, bending for others…
Is what makes you the real deal.
Dynamic, with attention to detail.
Concern for others…rather than just yourself.
Life is not a movie trailer, it’s a test.
With lessons taught on every day.

There are frames…
That hold pictures…
That don’t last long.
Bridges we cross…and kiss on…
That we never return to.
Nights that felt like magic.
That we wish NOT…
To be reminded of.
But I will never blame the  “love” broken…
For messing with me.

This particular feeling…
On this particular girl…
Is hard to explain.
Perhaps impossible.
But I’ll try.
Judge not my words,
But try to understand my heart.

At one point in our lives…
We all stand on bridges…
That we’ll never cross again.

I set a goal this year….
To turn 2010 from my toughest year…
To my best year.
And I’ve still got 31 days left…
I’ll make it…

People don’t bail on you in life…
They bail on themselves…
Habits that wreak havoc,
Blisters that burn lives.

But if you examine a balance sheet,
You notice one thing consistently,
Assets are NEVER mixed with liabilities,
And I do my best to keep them far from me.

Dating is NOT easy.
And it was my turn to be reminded.
Lesson learned. Again.

You can’t miss someone you’ve never truly met.
You can’t love someone you never truly knew…

 *** I apologize for the format change from here on out.  My breathing finally slowed down, and i didnt want to continue in such a choppy fashion....

Tonight I write. I turn the page of life. I let my pen take over, and watch this story come alive.  I get chills.  When I sit to write, it takes me back to places that hurt me.  I’m a lover, not a fighter, but you cant get through life, without confronting the fights…

To heal, I ask myself to take a journey. Back a little bit, to one day before I met you.  I stand in a moment, so unaware of who I was going to meet tomorrow.  And I ask that mystery to return to me.  I'm not trying to forgot you, but I am trying to forget that I like you. trying to forget that I miss you. Trying to forget that I was ready for you.

“There is humor in everything. Irony in everything.”  And there are also people that step up to moments, and take their running shoes off.  My words rest when I'm happy. But when something is hurting me, the words flow from me. The dam breaks, and the fish swim free.

I'm not a wanted man, but I am a willing man. Willing to give my heart, to those around me.  Willing to wrap my mental wings, around those that attempt to understand me.  I don’t have to like anyone, but I did choose to like someone…

Is love everlasting? Or is it just a series of moments? Opportunities we collect while we can, stashed away in a shoe box, marked with your name...

If you neglect a rose, it will wilt, and if you neglect a love, the idea will die. The moment will squander, and the memory will fade.  This is not easy, this is heavy. The weight of a million moments, that will never happen.  Sometimes, my envy in others shines through. The happiness I see, wishing I could walk just one mile in their shoes. And soak up these moments, collect them in coat pockets, before I set back out on my own.

But you can't win them all, so fight for the ones that matter, the ones that face you, stand by you, and love you.  And unless two people agree on a mistake, its finalized as a good break.

I dream of kisses, that taste sweet, like a caramel mocha sundae, but never run out, hands that hold tight, like a roller coaster ride.  We don't choose who we fall for, but they sure choose when they let us fall, flat on our faces, or sliding down the wall.  Love will always require four open hands, and two open minds, to create two hearts that beat as one.

My strength is the people, my readers and my army, my fuel is my mind and my dilemmas.  The people that have bled, fought for love, and healed through the power of God and their own mind, are the very people that inspire me to write. I write to express common grounds in hearts far and near. I write for the hearts that could, but don't speak out.  I write for the lives of lovers and dreamers that live in shackles, bound in time.

If you're going to dig around for answers, be sure you can handle the outcome, or you shouldn't be asking...

We could only pray, that when we fall for the wrong person, they are selflessness enough to catch us, long enough to stand us up, and let us go.  So thank you, for catching me when I fell, and letting me go.  If you have to convince someone to like you, be convinced that they DON'T like you.  My mind tells me you don't have to accept what is, until you're truly ready to wake up from the dream.

Life WILL create the bridge, YOU will decide whether you cross...

You can't make someone care, but you can walk away when they don't.  Cold air makes you feel every breath as you breathe, as you think, and as you search for relief.  Cold air has become so familiar to me.

Make your defeats in life temporary, or they will haunt you for years.  And those that enter and leave my life, aren't taking from me, they're taking a piece of me, and they're teaching me, more and more about me.

But sometimes breaking something, actually fixes something else. I find beauty and endearment in the trials of life. Pain is proof that we're not just alive, but actually living.  And the strength we attain from these memories, is what makes us who we are tomorrow.

This is not creative writing, these are candid conversations I have with myself, fights, that I battle with reason, and look for the wrong, to make things right.  Don't fight the people that fight themselves, because you'll lose.  Fight your heart, but don't fight life.

At some point in your life, you'll stand on a bridge, that you'll never go back to...

But my problem, is putting too many people before ME, it’s like a business plan built for failure, rejected by the bank of hearts.  And one day, I will write words, with mixed verbs, that will steal hearts back from the thieves of broken minds.

The fight stops...when the fight...stops.

Sometimes people ask me what's the matter, I tell them nothing is the matter, but its the mind that matters.  Memories moving through my mind like city parade's. Candy for the kings, words for the mind.

The greatest gift you can give, is often given in someone else's life, rather than your own. Selflessness is a trait acquired through the joy of seeing happiness in the eyes of those you love.  Giving, of your time, your heart, and your truth, is then multiplied in your own life.

Happiness is gathered in the moments we give, rather than the moments we get. And love is a moment to embrace these moments.  My words multiple like the legs of millipedes and centipedes and spread across your heart like the blue turf of our favorite boys.

But one day, I wanna write songs, that build wings on the broken, and carry them through the tough times, I wanna put food in the hands of the unfortunate, and bring peace to not only the middle east, but to all minds undivided in all nations alike.

It was a perfect start, three nights that felt like three years, knowing she was leaving, knowing there would be tears. Keep it simple I told myself, but these feelings, they multiplied without my consent. They grew like vines in a fairy tale.  They grew like relaxation from red wine.

Saturated by smiles, hand in hand for hopefully.....miles. Nope.  I got passed by.  Broken down on the life freeway, a flat tire preventing me from merging to divert this mess.

Moments of broken bridges, collapsed buildings, chaos in me.  Hearts on fire, torn pages, and flames engulfing picture frames.  Rapid...rapid heart beats, that increase the breathing in me. Moments that rattle me, place a momentary jitter in me. Nerves that increase the feeling in me, and questions, that need to be answered for me.  But they aren't, haven't been, and won't be.  So I adjust my perception, and lose a little of me, to see it from your eyes.

Advances in talent, tailor fit to my life, tripping on moments that rock my heart.  Frugal investments measured with caution leaving craters in my mind. Relativity, transpiring a feeling, explained as anything but generic to me.  The curve of the hand, the sensory of the nerves, the cradle of the curves, exploding the emotions in me.  I want more, I want nothing less than the best of you, the most of you, reserved for me, and in return, I'll return the same feeling you put in me.  And THAT’S the very dream, that will remain alive in me…

Its hard not to text you. Not to bother you constantly. All I want to do is be next to you. Hugging you, kissing you, holding your hand.  And night, the last thing I do, is hope that I dream about you.  I wonder constantly, what's on your mind, wondering if its the same thing on my mind.  Visions of us, mixed with the memories we'll make, the chances we'll take, and the moments we'll share… NOPE.

Problems that can't be measured with pro tractors, sometimes real life gets to me. The answers are exposed not in a moment, but rather through time, a schedule that fits God's timing, not mine.  I'm not seeking someone who simply "goes" through the motions, I'm seeking someone who soaks up the moments. Someone who lives for these moments, and treats me like gold tokens.

I don't write for fun, I write for freedom from pain, I write to retain the feeling of living and feeling.  I write to sustain moments in my body that make me feel alive.  I write to scribble out moments that leave stains on my mind. I write to repeat the feelings that teach me lessons, I don't write to complain.

I write on lonesome nights where memories and red wine fuel my veins. I write when someone in my life causes moments of pain.  Moments of feelings that linger and remain.  I write when someone I know has entered my heart, and hasn't handled it the right way.

But I use words for weapons, and my mind for ignition.  Emotion was a strain for you, and that caused pain in me, often times, I felt like only a friend to you.  Tarantulas that embark on wars, dreams that start with a prize in the cracker jacks.

Call me a dreamer, but I'll always place faith over philosophy.  My trust in God is the light that guides me, the wisdom the reassures me, and the forgiveness, that makes me believe in me.  Take a moment to acknowledge a need other than yours, it’s rewarding.  Let the waves of these words crash on your shores.

I don't talk back, I don't talk trash, I challenge minds that matter in my life.

But my heart renders more high's and low's than the continental divide.  Mountains that rob the oxygen from me, rivers that drown me, but my strength is my voice, my reason is my mind, and my mistake is my open heart, my open arms, my open sign, that exposes me.

And when you kill a rose, you can't bring it back to life, but you can always plant a new seed.  And hope its carried by the breeze, over barren sea's, until it brushes against your knees, and if you pick me, and love me, these roots will plant memories in a soil so rich, a legacy will be left behind, from you and me.

You could follow a river for miles, and it will always lead you to the sea, eventually, dumping the silt of your life from tributaries into delta's, cleansing this mess from you and me, washing out the enemies of fear in our minds.

I’m not writing to keep you, I’m writing because I lost you.  I’ve learned in life not to let someone do the same damage to you twice, so I know it’s over, and that’s fine.  But I’m just writing to you, hoping you’re remember those moments, that seemed real to me.  The moments where I thought you believed in me, and wanted to be with me.  This is not punishment to you, this is punishment to me.  It would be a whole lot easier to deny ANY emotion in my body.  But I’d be cheating those around me, and most importantly, I’d be cheating myself.  That is not living, that’s just life.

I guess from here, the wind spells out goodbye.  No more questions of why.  I will close my eyes and accept that I don’t always get to choose the destination of this crazy ride.  I pray for you.  Every night. For the things we talked about in your driveway that night, and the move you’re about to make.  Even in my most painful moments, I can put others in front of me.  Stay true to the course. All of it.  Meeting you was a proud moment in my life, that actually meant something to ME


And if you ever see this bridge again, I hope you remember a time, when you took me there on a cold November night.  When you kissed me, and told me you liked me…I hope in that very moment…you truly did.